Love Destroys Divorce

As we all know a family is the basic functional and structural unit of our society. The strength of our society lies in the collective performance of our families. The strength of the family depends on the power of binding forces acting upon its members. That strongest binding power in my view is nothing but 3D-Love. The love between husband and wife, and between parents and children. We ourselves have invented a number of evil elements to break these strongest bonds like greed for money, materials, buildings, property and lust in the name of development and indiscriminate enjoyment. Long long ago it was being told that love is blind. Now it's no more blind. It's blinding in the glare of degrees of education and decrees of infatuation.

Nations, States, countries, communities and even families can be easily broken into bits of desolation and sorrow through  'Divide and Rule Policy' of the greedy world. Husband is divided from wife, parents from children and citizens from their nations just to become posh servants of rich capitalists, employees of companies somewhere abroad or in other cities, far away from life partners, children, mothers and motherland.   Physical divisions will definitely lead to mental divisions that in turn may lead to divorces. There are many excuses shown to divide but major hidden causes may be as follows:

1) EXTRA-MARTIAL SEXUAL CONTACTS:

Extra-marital sexual affairs are a cause for the dissolution of most marriages that end in divorce. The factors that are respinsible for extra-marital relationships may be as follows:

i) Lack of love, affection, dedication and honesty towards ones spouse.

ii) Habituated to change lovers and sex partners since school days to marriage due to different reasons. May be due to a long gap between pubery and marriage, and also may be due to child marriage ban followed by unbearable heat of romance, obscenity, nudity and sex generated by different kinds of media and cinema.

iii) Watching more beautiful girls, women, ladies, actresses, heroines,  and models or more handsome boys, men, actors, heroes than their spouses in and around our living places or on screens will reduce interest in their own spouses some times. 

iv) Intimate relationships beyond limits with colleagues, commuters, relations and  neighbours of opposite sex.

v) Long periods of menstruation, pregnancy and postpregnancy periods among wives and diseased or injured periods of husbands.

vi) Absence of life partners for a considerable period of time due to  far away journeys, foreign tours, or foreign jobs.

vii) Exposure to obscenity, nudity and sex on TV or mobile screens.

viii) When one of the spouse not interested, efficient or competent enough to participate in a kind of sexual act as so in novels or videos.

ix) Visit to pubs and nude dances especially with their boyfriends or girlfriends.

x) Easy adultery or availability of brothels, pimps  and prostitutes in the society.

xi) Differences in sexual appetite and lack of emotional intimacy.

xii) Disfiguration of a spouse's body due to overweight, age or other reasons. Overweight is basically due to obesity. Obesity is due to more intake but less expenditure of energy. This in turn is due white collar jobs, electrical and electronic appliances and gadgets without sufficient physical activities. The basic symptom of development! 

xiii) Husbands addicted to texting on mobiles upto too late in the evenings or beyond midnight.

xiv) Impotency or weak nervous systems and consequent dysfunctioning of organs due to constant exposure to radiation from computers, mobiles, television, etc along with lack of sufficient physical activities and balanced diet especially fresh fruits and vegetables. The latter aspect is fully overtaken by fast food, junk food and carbonated drinks.

xv) Dysfunctioning of sex organs due to obesity, diabetes, deficiency diseases, global warming and rapid increas in temperature due to pollution, lack of 33.3% tree cover in human habitats, heat islands amidst concrete jungles is also a strong cause!

xvi) Different job timings for spouses or night duty for a spouse.

xvii) Any one spouse goes regularly into inebriated or intoxicated condition during nights  by taking drugs or liquors.

2) FINANCIAL REASONS:

The second important cause  is financial aspects. Marriages are no more made in heaven but in posh and magnificient marriage halls with a lot of glare and show put up. Marriages are hardly a glimpse of love and affection, but a kind of commercial activity. So many things stand between two hearts to meet and understand mutually. Dowry, gifts and presentations occupy the primary position.  Money, materials and properties always be there to spoil the holistic thought of marriage. No much discussion about love and affection. The only version that's acceptable these days is how much money earned, ethnically or unethically, and being spent in the marriage! That's why the bond of love and affection is very feeble these days to bind the bride and bridegroom forever! So many cases of divorce and broken families are rampant these days. Here  some more financial reasons are given:

i) Different spending habits of a spouse.

ii) Different financial goals of a spouse.

iii) Two different spouses from two different financial backgrounds.

iv) One spouse of corruptive mentality and the other of honesty.

v) One spouse of simple and natural lifestyle and the other of luxurious, extravagant, posh and ostentatious lifestyles.

vi) Husband can't cope up with daily,  educational or medical expenditure in family.

vii) Wife or her parents not paid the dowry, or given gold and gifts as per the promise or the as per later desires.

viii) Husnand is financially irresponsible and has failed to maintain his wife or the children properly.

ix) Husband is wasting money in bettings, gamblings, or pubs and prostitution.

x) One spouse may be spending money towards ones parents or relations without other's consent or willingness.

3) OTHER REASONS:

i) Anger and resentment.

ii) Conversion of emotional affair before marriage into physical affair after marriage.

iii) Lack of effective communication between spouses like yelling at spouses for simple reasons especially in front of other ladies, not talking enough throughout the day due to busy schedules or texting on mobiles, making nasty comments to express oneself, telling lies, scolding, etc.

iv) Arguing about every simple reasonable and unreasonable issues especially about kids, customs, culture, food preparations, shopping, etc.

v) Obesity, weight gain, lack of physical fitness, disfiguration  of body, etc are common reasons for divorce.

vi) Unrealistic expectations during romantic days before marriage.

vii) Lack of intimacy due to overtime jobs, business, cellophane texting, TV watching,  etc.

viii) Lack of equality due to gender bias or position in jobs.

ix) Unhappiness and stress due to attitudes of spouses.

x) Oral or physical abuses and physical violence.

xi) Spouses drinking excessively.

xii) Spouses behaves in an unreasonable and aggressive manner under the influence of alcohol and drugs.

xiii) Chronic diseases making a spouse unfit for sexual life.

xiv) Lack of elders or well wishers to bridge the gap of resentment between husband and wife due to small nuclear family system or money saving mechanism.

We can't say that all these factors or at least some of these will definitely lead to divorce. No, never be so! As mentioned earlier the power of love and affection decimates all these reasons and stand aloft to safeguard the holistic relationships between husband and wife.  But once if that power is also made powerless for the sake of colourful world or transient pleasures, then no one can avoid the tumbling down of relationships.

We can just say that these are some of the reasons for divorce or Talaq. Here majority think about divorses and legal games what to play after that unfortunate incident.  Better well-wishers, governments, courts,  organizations, parties and leaders stop talking much about what to do after divorces but start thinking about how to prevent these divorces. There is only one way to make the nation grow stronger, that is "prevention is better than cure!" Avoid forces that weaken the bonds of love and affection between spouses and among the members of a family, though it costs billions of rupees or dollars in the form of loss of business or taxes to the people and government! Then there won't be any Talaq .... Talaq ..... Talaq. Only Love ..... Love ..... Love!

The Space for Childhood Is Far Away!

A simple question was asked, "Which is your favourite planet?" All the students except one answered, "The Earth". But Kavya said "lt's Jupiter." On asking her the reason she said, "Because the Earth is surrounded by poisonous gases and borderd by lethal weapons." Query continued, "Then why can't you prefer the Mars?" She answered in no time, "I have heard that the same destroyers are going to settle there!" Such a kind of phobia is frightening our tender little hearts to survive on our own planet!

As responsible parents we build castles in air for them. But, in fact majority of our children don't like our homes. The reason may be biophilia, ornithophilia, zoophilia or nature deficit disorder. That means children love to spend more time in green environment, enthusiastic to watch birds and happy to play with animals. Homes of parents are no longer homes of children! Why is it so? Because we are developing batophilia, that is love to live in or near tall buildings. Far away from environs where children actually want to live! Anyhow kids have neither a choice to fly away to a distant planet nor a chance to fulfil their desires on this planet. Always our concrete sense overdominates their common sense!

Architectural, engineering and market thrills never allow us to pulse the innate natural beats of our children. Spatial plans, structural designs and suggestive guidelines are always there to keep the neurons in our brains ever busy. So we never have to miss a modern facility or sophisticated furnishing to have a place in our homes. Only thing which doesn't find a place is kid's love towards nature. Our aims will be fulfilled if we can draw the attention of our friends and relatives to receive appreciation for our architectural master-pieces. But the bright colours of our buildings blind our senses to perceive the glow of instinctive desires burning in the genes of younger generations. Instead we wire kids to technological marvels like TVs,  PCs and tabs indoors in sohisticated concrete cages. Though this habit increases their body-mass index, we have no other choice. Let them grow in girth. The world's growing so. So let it go! We scarcely worry about negative effects of physical inactivity. Or we might have already pre-planned to face them. Medical field isn't dearth of research. Treatment is ever available in the market. Superspeciality hospitals are always there. Then why should we worry? Even malfunctioning of thyroids, lungs, liver, pancreas or kidneys doesn't matter.

The innocent childhood urges to sense soft sunrays in the early hours, to do green-exercise, to climb a tree, to play on grass, to view hues or smell fragrance in flowers, and also to watch agile butterflies, active birds and witty squirrels busy around in the home garden. But our rusty outdated minds are always there to flake off the instinct images imprinted on the young brains. Seldon we get time to take our kids to gardens of their choice. Even if possible that too in the evenings only! And we feel proud to show them the wonders like artificial  fountains and synthetic playing items in the light polluted evening gardens. Visiting and studying the lively beautiful gardens in sunny days may be a never-ending desire for our children.

We're great not only because we don't allow them to enjoy poorman's nature, but also because we stand as obstacles against the overall development of our children. Physical activities practically nil. Please think, how can children develop cognitive qualities like problem solving skills, focus and self-discipline, if they aren't let to come out of the four walls of homes,  classrooms and vehicles? How can they improve cooperation, flexibility, and self-awareness? Instead a flame of aggression and enmity engulf their minds. They may either become easy victims to culprits or culprits to prey easy victims.

If we really want to change the human world we should change the units of that world first. That's homes. The overall development of a child can't be expected without an ideal home. The ideal home is one which harldly has 1/3 of its space under concrete structure, 1/3 exposed to the sun and remaining 1/3 covered by tree shade.  (That's what 33.3% of world area under forests mean!) The house should be so small that kids should be forced to spend much of their time outdoors, in appreciating the wonders of nature - shining sun, gleaming moon, twinkling stars, hovering butterflies, flying birds and breezing trees. The kid should spend 1/3 time in schools, 1/3 time in natural environment playing and 1/3 time in sleep. Sound body leads to sound mind!

It's glad that a number of animal activists stand there to protest against destruction of wildlife habitats and also to protect their natural ecosystems. Lot of sympathy is being expressed towards the mute creatures worldwide. Our poor children also listen and learn much about the importance of balanced ecosystems for wildlife, hours together. But, oblivious of their own ecosystems! How many organizations are there to work for balanced human ecosystems? Or as individuals, at least, have we ever thought of the kind of habitats our children need? No, practically nil. Let's Think now! Or else the space for childhood is always far away!

CHILDREN ARE DEVELOPING WEAK BONES DUE TO LACK OF SUFFICIENT SUNLIGHT & PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES. METABOLIC ACTIVITIES GOING SLOW.

What Does Unrest at Educational Institutions Indicate?

The importance of education and it's role in moulding the lives of students is well known. A lot of emphasis  has been universally given to educate children. Whether that intention of education is still continuing or something else has taken its place is a question.  The kind of unrest prevalent in educational institutions these days is a witness.

Educational process seems to have been derailed from the right path of its true destiny. Has  the aim of education been diverted from human values to material values or anything else? If education is totally in the hands of eligible,  qualified and professional people then why human values and professionalism are lacking among the students?

When the management,  teaching and non-teaching staff are divided on the basis of caste and creed or economic and social status then how could we expect humanistic values among their products?

Now the main focus is shifted from purpose to profits. Education is no longer showing  its holistic approach towards moulding the overall life of a child, instead towards amassing wealth through the business of textbooks, stationery, uniforms, etc. This business further needs politics to dominate the field. The mind of the people of the education field is now obsessed with funds, business and profits rather than with the actual purpose of improvement of education, skills, child and human values.

The knowledge is now restricted to books. But the minds of students are empty or filled with other means of entertainment. No true essence of knowledge is there. When the school management and  teachers need money, parents and children need marks and grades. A very few concern about reading skills,  writing skills, oral skills and other life skills among students.  The target is merely marks and grades in exams.

Unless the aim of education is stressed upon and mentality of management,  teachers, parents and children is changed we can't  expect peace and tranquillity. It's  very shameful that illiterate people are aghast to see the barbaric deeds of educated ones at educational institutions. Once education was a means to transform the barbaric people into civilized ones. But now it seems that the wrong format and motto of education has transfored  the civilised people into barbaric ones. Atleast now the authorities should open their eyes to enrich the minds of students with knowledge, moral values and universal brotherhood, rather than with selfish mottos. Otherwise education will remain  a fashion rather than a purpose.

Good teachers, lecturers, professors and students never bow down to money power, muscle power, political gimmicks and communal forces;  instead they dedicate themselves to the purpose of their staying at holistic places of education.